Today, Daddy and Mommy talked about you. We are reminded that you are, and always will be, a part of our family. We remember the 39 weeks that you were with us, and the two cherished moments that we had with you – After you were delivered and before you had to be cremated.
Even though these fleeting moments were less than five minutes in total, they are memories that have long been seared into our hearts, and will remain so for a long time, perhaps as long as we lived.
After your passing, neither of us could get close to babies without having the painful memory that we lost you. Thankfully, we were blessed to have your baby sister slightly more than a year later. Though she is still young and doesn’t yet know, she has been the renewal that we needed in our lives. For a long time, we were in a dark, difficult place. Families and friends encouraged us, work (and Netflix) kept us occupied, but your baby sister was the spark that reignited our lives.
Today, we brought her to the place where we once buried your bones. Of course, it’s only symbolic now because 1) you are no longer in our world and I hope that you are having a blast up there in Heaven, and that it’s as good as advertised and 2) the bones have been back at home for the past year.
As usual, we brought flowers. Your baby sister helped choose it and the salesperson even asked her if she was buying it for someone special. She was!
Of course, we brought her along to drop off the flowers.
Mommy and I joked this morning that your baby sister is more pampered than most because of you. She is showered with all the unconditional love that the people around her could possibly give.
In the future, your baby sister will grow up and understand why. She will treasure the care that people have shown her.
Still, all of these will never make up for the fact that given a choice, she will trade all of these away, just for the chance to be able to grow up with you, her older brother, by her side. However, this isn’t her choice, or ours, to make.
We love you and we miss you.
– Daddy, Mommy and Sib